I will survive...

Couldn't sleep much last night as today is the start of chemotherapy.  It's the first of four treatments that last 3-3.5 hours.  I feel a little scared but am drawing strength from my amazing aunt who powered through 5.5 months of chemo with courage and grace, as well as my mother who went with my aunt to every treatment after her own mastectomy and reconstruction process, and my sister who while dealing with a tumor on her pituitary gland is also planning for her own prophylactic mastectomy.  I also feel extremely confident about my decision to do this.  My odds of not having a recurrence without chemo are approximately 89%.  With chemo they are 94%.  I'll take that extra 5%.  To me, that represents 5 women out of 100 who will be here for their children because of chemo, to see them off for the first day of school, to comfort them when someone breaks their heart, to watch them graduate from school and get married.  It's worth it!  It's just hair and 9 weeks of my life.  My beautiful mother is here with me to help me take care of my son and offer support.  My husband is a rock star who has been so supportive and comforting.  My sister and father are with us in spirit.  And I know there are many more friends and family that hold us in their prayers and we so greatly appreciate that.  We will survive!