NO WAY!!!!

Well one week down and 8 to go.  Chemo hasn't been that bad so far...  It's hard to believe when you are sitting in that chair, IV in your arm draining this very non-threatening clear liquid into your veins, that it is poison.  I guess it's hard to believe because you feel fine and everyone is so nice and caring.  I felt fine for a few days afterward too and then there were a few rough days (achey, tired, nauseated).  Now, things seem to be back to normal for the most part, aside from feeling nauseated at certain tastes/smells (kind of like pregnancy).  And the hair is hanging in there for now.  Little John turned 22 months a few days ago and on that day he started saying "no way mommy" and running the other way when he doesn't want to do something.  I can relate.  That's how I feel about cancer and chemo sometimes, but I know it's here to teach me something and that there's no running away.  At those times, I try to remember that I can make it and I just keep trying to focus on why I'm doing this.  It's not always easy, but shifting my focus to gratitude when the "why me" thoughts come up is the most helpful thing.  Here is my gratitude list for today...
I am thankful for...
1.  All the kind and caring words and gestures that have come my way over the past week from friends/family.  It matters more than you know.
2.  Having hair today.
3.  My beautiful son and how he makes me laugh every day.
4.  The beautiful words my husband wrote me on my birthday that matter more than any material thing.
5.  The love and support and physical presence of my parents during this time. 
6.  The opportunity to laugh and have fun even during tough times.
7.  This actual moment right now, that is my life, and the perspective cancer brings to seize it and truly live it.

Next chemo treatment is 9/14 and then I will be halfway done.  That's all for now...